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Family and friends recall Jennifer Barziloski

&ldquo;GUYS, LISTEN up!&rdquo; &ldquo;Who&rsquo;s going to man the counter today?&rdquo;
When I was growing up I wondered if, as a female, I was included in these statements. After all, I am neither a guy nor a man. When I asked my parents about this, they would say that I am included and that the use of these terms is meant to include both males and females. However, I still had difficulty finding myself in the imagery these phrases conjure up in my mind.
As an adult, I have come to realize that words have incredible power to not only reflect our thinking, but also to shape it. It has occurred to me that one of the ways we unintentionally shut out, embarrass or &ldquo;dis&rdquo; certain people is through our language. I know many very kind people who truly do not understand why it is necessary to continuously examine how we use language. Why, they might ask, must we say &ldquo;person with a disability&rdquo; instead of &ldquo;disabled person&rdquo; or &ldquo;handicapped person&rdquo;? Isn&rsquo;t this just PC (politically correct)? Does it really make a difference in our interactions with people? 
I know that words can either make us feel valued and appreciated or devalued and unappreciated. A number of years ago when I was doing a training seminar with some maintenance workers at a local school district, one gentleman stood up and asked the question: &ldquo;Why is it that we divide the work force here into the professional and non-professional categories? Just like the teachers, I do my job in a professional manner.&rdquo; 
At first I was taken aback, since I had never thought about the point he made. As a college professor, I always had been included in the professional group. It soon became evident to me that what he was saying made a lot of sense. Wouldn&rsquo;t it be better to distinguish between teaching and support staff rather than using labels that conveyed a lack of professionalism on the part of those who do not teach, but whose work makes teaching possible? It seems to me that the work each of us does every day, if we do it well, is what makes our organizations function well and allows us to achieve our goals.
Language is a social institution and it has social power. The way we address and name others is important, even critical, to the way our society works &ndash; even within our own families. The way we address someone or refer to a person can make the difference between a successful interaction or one in which petty squabbles derail good intentions. 
Language is important in portraying and shaping perceptions and attitudes and, as such, it is not neutral or value-free. Some of the words we use today reflect a time and a way of thinking that excluded many people from mainstream culture. There are words and phrases that seem commonplace that can be experienced as degrading and disrespectful to many groups of people.
Isn&rsquo;t it important that we change offensive words? Because language is evolving, speaking in a respectful way about groups in the United States can feel as unnatural as learning to drive a standard shift car with a clutch when you are used to an automatic &ndash; at first it feels exhausting. In time, however, this effort becomes second nature. It is understandable that many of us are unclear about what is acceptable and what might be insulting. Because of this, it is important to be open to suggestions about changing our ways of speaking and vocabulary when we become aware of the negative impact our words have on an individual or group.
How hard is it to get rid of &ldquo;professional&rdquo; and &ldquo;non-professional&rdquo; and use &ldquo;teaching&rdquo; and &ldquo;support&rdquo;? Our diverse society calls for a new rule. Let&rsquo;s call it the &ldquo;Platinum Rule.&rdquo; Let&rsquo;s try to treat others as they wish to be treated.

Listen up, everybody! Who&rsquo;s going to staff the counter today?



Language is a social institution and it has social power. The way we address and name others is important, even critical, to the way our society works &ndash; even within our own families.

Thoughtful Use Of Words Pays Respect To All People Commentary Linda Trompetter