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Outdoors with Tom Venesky: A reason to hunt

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Police: Drunk man went wrong way

<p><strong>Dear Annie:</strong> My co-worker, &#8220;Carl,&#8221; has been at his job for 8 years. I&#8217;ve been here for 10. We&#8217;ve never been friends, but that hasn&#8217;t really mattered until now.</p><p>Recently, Carl and I were put together on a team. It turns out, he is one of the most uncaring, egotistical, self-centered, small-minded individuals with whom I have ever dealt. He makes my job more difficult, and I can see that he does the same for others.</p><p>Everything Carl does aggravates me to no end. The boss knows he is a troublemaker, but refuses to deal with the situation. Please don&#8217;t suggest I look for another job. For financial reasons, I cannot do that at this point in time. Any advice? &#8212; Incredibly Frustrated</p><p><strong>Dear Frustrated:</strong> Since you cannot leave and your boss will do nothing to alleviate the situation, you have to find a way to deal with Carl. First find out if it&#8217;s possible to be put on another team or ask to have your assignment changed. That would be the easiest way to avoid Carl. If that isn&#8217;t an option, try to ignore the things that most irritate you. His egotistical, small-minded personality is not necessarily relevant to getting the job done. Focus on the work and imagine him as a small annoying fly that keeps buzzing around your head. But please don&#8217;t swat him.</p><p><strong>Dear Annie:</strong> I know you&#8217;ve covered this topic before, but I think my situation is a little different.</p><p>I was invited to a family wedding by cousins in another state with whom I am not in close contact. My boyfriend and I have been together for many years, but this segment of the family was unaware of him and so he wasn&#8217;t included in the invitation. We are as &#8220;together&#8221; as any husband and wife, but when I RSVP&#8217;d and said that we would be coming together, I was told that I couldn&#8217;t bring him because of limits on the guest list. I would have liked to go to renew family connections, but this meant I could not attend either.</p><p>Would it have been better to refer to him as my fiance? Would he then have been automatically included? A fiance implies that you plan to marry and we don&#8217;t. We need a new vocabulary to cover the many variations people have for coupledom. &#8212; Confused in the South</p><p><strong>Dear Confused:</strong> It&#8217;s no one&#8217;s business whether you intend to marry or not. Established couples that are not engaged &#8212; those who are living together or who have been seeing one another exclusively for several months or longer &#8212; should be included together in invitations. However, since your cousins didn&#8217;t know you had a serious boyfriend, it is only natural that they would not have invited him. Instead of informing them that you planned to bring another person, it would have been more appropriate to explain the situation and ask whether it would be OK to bring him. Then the bridal couple has the choice of including him or not, followed by your choice to attend without him or not.</p><p>Nonetheless, it would be nice for you to reacquaint yourself with your cousins and allow them to get to know your boyfriend. We suggest you plan a visit together at another time.</p><style>
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<div class="metaInfo"><subheadMeta>Annie&#8217;s Mailbox</subheadMeta></div><div class="metaInfo"><bylineMeta><p>By Marcy Sugar, Kathy Mitchell</p></bylineMeta></div><div class="metaInfo"><shirttailMeta><p>Annie&#8217;s Mailbox is written by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar, longtime editors of the Ann Landers column. Please email your questions to <a href="mailto:anniesmailbox@creators.com" target="_blank">anniesmailbox@creators.com</a>, or write to: Annie&#8217;s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254. To find out more about Annie&#8217;s Mailbox and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at <a href="http://www.creators.com/" target="_blank">www.creators.com</a>.</p></shirttailMeta></div>

Annie’s Mailbox: Butting heads at work