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<p>We are enmeshed in the season of high school wrestling. You all know my sons are wrestlers because you all know I&#8217;ve bred a colony of Oompa Loompas. Thankfully, there&#8217;s no height requirement for wrestling. Or writing a column.</p><p>As with any organized high school sport, we&#8217;re privy to the good, the bad and the ugly; that is parents as well as their children. Sometimes, the behavior of one is worse than the other. You all know what I mean.</p><p>Listen, I&#8217;m as obnoxious a sports parent as you&#8217;ll find anywhere, but I contain that behavior to the actual event taking place. My voice, which normally can cut glass, reaches a decibel level that cannot be measured by any barometer when my son is wrestling. However, I&#8217;ve never aimed my over-animated antics at a coach or a referee. Ever. Maybe I have in the privacy of my own head, but there&#8217;s so many voices in there, it&#8217;s hard to keep track.</p><p>Lately, I&#8217;ve witnessed the very worst behavior displayed toward coaches by parents of athletes. It&#8217;s mind-boggling that grown men and women think it&#8217;s their right to not only school a coach on the rules of fair play, but demand reciprocation if their child loses, or doesn&#8217;t play up to their imagined standard.</p><p>Sadly, in these litigious times, it is with kid gloves that coaches must handle their teams. If a player acts in a manner not representative of the organization or his teammates, he should be benched, suspended or given a time-out. Throw him in a corner if you must. But these days, it&#8217;s challenging to reprimand a player in the manner they need to be punished. It has become laughable.</p><p>Coaches at this level do not coach for the lofty paycheck or benefits. Trust me. They&#8217;d make more money raking leaves. My sons&#8217; coaches have instilled in them a respect for authority, resilience and the agony and benefits of back breaking, good old fashioned hard work. It&#8217;s the love of the sport and their team that propels a coach to keep coming back for more. I&#8217;ve witnessed a great coach take an average wrestling team and bring them to their peak of glory as he turned out several district winners; a coveted honor for any wrestler. However, not everyone wants to do the work to obtain the prize.</p><p>Unfortunately, along the road to victory, a coach must sometimes tolerate insubordination, disrespect and a sub-par team mentality. The children are protected by their parents and so, punishments are minimal. And when a parent condones the bad behavior (much too often), the coach&#8217;s job is a hundred fold harder.</p><p>When I ponder why parents believe they need to be involved with the coach/athlete relationship on any level, or why their child spits defiance, I just need to witness how the athlete speaks to their own parents. And then it all becomes crystal clear. Disrespect begets disrespect. It&#8217;s generational and it&#8217;s disappointing.</p><p>Alabama softball coach, Patrick Murphy, stated it perfectly: &#8220;Uncoachable kids become unemployable adults. Let your kids get used to someone being tough on them. It&#8217;s life. Get over it.&#8221;</p><p>Let the coaches do what the coaches are supposed to do. Stay out of it. Be a parent. Advocate for your child from the bleachers, not the coaches chair. Don&#8217;t fight your children&#8217;s battles when it comes to sports. Don&#8217;t support disrespectful behavior toward authority. Encourage your child to do what my friend, Mrs. DeLuca says to do: &#8220;Just shut up and play.&#8221;</p><p>It really is that simple.</p><style>
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<div class="metaInfo"><bylineMeta><p>Maria Jiunta Heck</p><p>Life Deconstructed</p></bylineMeta></div><div class="metaInfo"><shirttailMeta><p>Maria Jiunta Heck of West Pittston is a mother of three, a librarian and a business owner who lives to dissect the minutiae of life.</p></shirttailMeta></div>

Life Deconstructed: In the throws of high school wrestling season, Maria ponders why some kids, and parents, just can’t respect sports coaches