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Christmas play at St. Evangelical Lutheran Church

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<p>DALLAS &#8212; Ellen Maccarone clearly remembers the last time she saw her brother, Lenny King.</p><p>It was April 2005, less than a week before Lenny would kill himself.</p><p>Ellen and Lenny had five sisters and two brothers. They were always a close family. Since Lenny&#8217;s death, Ellen has been involved with the Northeastern Pennsylvania chapter of the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention &#8212; a brotherhood, she says, members &#8220;unwillingly join.&#8221;</p><p>Ellen has learned a lot about suicide &#8212; the reasons why people take their own lives and how surviving loved ones cope with those deaths.</p><p>&#8220;I think there is always a look of hurt in their eyes,&#8221; Ellen said of suicidal people. &#8220;It&#8217;s a certain look. I saw that look in Lenny&#8217;s eyes.&#8221;</p><p>Lenny was 39 when he died. Ellen won&#8217;t talk about the manner of death &#8212; she prefers to discuss how her brother&#8217;s tragic death affected her and her family.</p><p>&#8220;When you experience the loss of someone, many people choose not to perpetuate the act,&#8221; Ellen said. &#8220;A lot of people say a person &#8216;committed&#8217; suicide, but that&#8217;s the wrong choice of words. Suicide is a process where someone&#8217;s mind is choosing something and working through to an end.&#8221;</p><p>Ellen said her siblings all knew Lenny was struggling, that he was going to counseling and was on medication.</p><p>&#8220;We&#8217;re not sure of the turn of events,&#8221; Ellen said. &#8220;We didn&#8217;t know he was desperate to choose to end his life.&#8221;</p><p>Ellen and her siblings immediately questioned if they could have done anything to prevent Lenny from taking his life. She had feelings of guilt.</p><p>&#8220;I think this helped fracture our family,&#8221; Ellen said. &#8220;We didn&#8217;t cope well. But we&#8217;re getting better over time.&#8221;</p><p>Ellen said some families get closer after losing a loved one to suicide, while others, like hers, come apart.</p><p>&#8220;But you work through it,&#8221; she said. &#8220;You come back together in time.&#8221;</p><p>Ellen has been involved with the AFSP for years. She volunteers at fundraisers, like an annual walk where she and her siblings enter as &#8220;Team Lenny.&#8221; She said education through special events and programs helps to raise awareness.</p><p>Ellen and her daughter visited Lenny often in the weeks leading up to his April 23 death. Ellen could see &#8220;that look&#8221; in Lenny&#8217;s eyes, but he never shared his feelings when his niece was around.</p><p>&#8220;Lenny preferred to enjoy the time with his niece,&#8221; Ellen said. &#8220;He would rather do that than talk about his feelings.&#8221;</p><p>Ellen hopes families of suicide victims get involved with programs to raise awareness. She said people who have suicidal thoughts should seek help.</p><p>&#8220;Sometimes it can be as simple as talking to a professional who cares,&#8221; she said. &#8220;There are so many lives that could be saved.&#8221;</p><p><strong>A mother&#8217;s story</strong></p><p>Angelika Everett, of Plains Township, knows the pain of suicide.</p><p>Her son, Alex, was 21 when he took his own life last April 11.</p><p>Angelika, 48, and her husband purchased a house in Wilkes-Barre for Alex and his older brother. Looking back at the days before Alex took his own life, she said there were clues that went unrecognized.</p><p>Angelika said Alex was &#8220;a kind kid &#8212; a great kid.&#8221; Alex stood 6-foot-4 and had been losing weight. He didn&#8217;t eat right and wasn&#8217;t sleeping well, but his mother attributed much of that to his working the night shift.</p><p>&#8220;Looking back, Alex looked a little bit sadder, but again, we attributed this to his job,&#8221; Angelika said. &#8220;Maybe there were some underlying conditions, I don&#8217;t know. But we are always wondering &#8212; it&#8217;s a constant thing for people like us.&#8221;</p><p>Like many suicide victims, Alex didn&#8217;t leave a note to explain his action.</p><p>Alex was off on a Friday night and went out with his brother and friends. The good times took a turn when Alex saw his girlfriend with another man.</p><p>&#8220;Alex told his brother that he was going home,&#8221; Angelika said.</p><p>When his brother arrived home hours later, he found Alex hanging.</p><p>Since that day, Angelika, her husband and son have taken life day by day. She said the best policy is to keep busy. All three of them entered counseling right after Alex&#8217;s death &#8212; individually and together &#8212; to help cope with their loss.</p><p>Angelika was sure to get everybody back to work, to keep busy.</p><p>&#8220;Nights are more difficult,&#8221; she said. &#8220;I visit Alex&#8217;s grave every night.&#8221;</p><p>Angelika&#8217;s advice to other surviving family members is to seek help. If someone suspects a family member or friend is thinking about ending their life, encourage them to get help, she said.</p><p>&#8220;Absolutely, if you think something is going on, hound them to get help,&#8221; she said. &#8220;Don&#8217;t ignore it. Things won&#8217;t be fine just because they are saying so.&#8221;</p><p>Angelika is involved with the AFSP where she attends fund raising events and wants to get more involved.</p><p>&#8220;We need to get the word out,&#8221; she said. &#8220;Prevention is everything.&#8221;</p><p><strong>The &#8216;what-might-have-beens&#8217;</strong></p><p>Dot and Michael Beam, of Waymart, lost their son, Colin, who took his own life on June 17, 2013. He was 16.</p><p>Dot said Colin, who always said he couldn&#8217;t be a failure, was failing classes in school.</p><p>She and Michael learned this from a note Colin left on the day he died of a self-inflicted gunshot wound to his head in a field behind the Beam home. His brother, 12 at the time, found him.</p><p>&#8220;The note was left at the site where he took his life,&#8221; Dot said. &#8220;He said he couldn&#8217;t face us.&#8221;</p><p>Dot said Colin was an awesome athlete &#8212; he was 6-foot-2, 165 pounds, and, according to her, &#8220;handsome and kind-hearted.&#8221;</p><p>She said when suicide happens to any family, it&#8217;s difficult to handle.</p><p>&#8220;You start doubting yourself,&#8221; she said. &#8220;When something like this happens, you really don&#8217;t know who you are anymore.&#8221;</p><p>Dot now runs a support group and recommends families get involved. They can connect with other families and help each other.</p><p>&#8220;You learn that you are not alone,&#8221; she said. &#8220;It&#8217;s a blessing to have people who know you &#8212; to be there for you as you try to maintain normalcy &#8212; as you discover your new normal. You realize you are not the person you were before and you will never be that person again.</p><p>&#8220;I still struggle with the what-might-have-beens.&#8221;</p><style>
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<div class="neCaption">Colin Beam </div></div><div class="metaInfo"><photo0>https://www.timesleader.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/web1_Colin-Beam-Suicide-Victim.jpg</photo0><caption0>Colin Beam </caption0><photoCredit0>Submitted photo </photoCredit0></div><div class="neFile"><img class="neImage" src="https://www.timesleader.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/web1_maccarone01.jpg">
<div class="neCaption">Ellen Maccarone talks about her brother&#8217;s suicide and how her family is coping with his death. </div></div><div class="metaInfo"><photo1>https://www.timesleader.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/web1_maccarone01.jpg</photo1><caption1>Ellen Maccarone talks about her brother&#8217;s suicide and how her family is coping with his death. </caption1><photoCredit1>Pete G. Wilcox | Times Leader </photoCredit1></div><div class="neFile"><img class="neImage" src="https://www.timesleader.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/web1_Alex-Everett-2.jpg">
<div class="neCaption">Alex Everett </div></div><div class="metaInfo"><photo2>https://www.timesleader.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/web1_Alex-Everett-2.jpg</photo2><caption2>Alex Everett </caption2><photoCredit2>Submitted photo </photoCredit2></div><div class="neFile"><img class="neImage" src="https://www.timesleader.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/web1_maccarone02.jpg">
<div class="neCaption">Ellen Maccarone holds a photograph of her late brothe, Lenny King, and talks about his suicide and how her family is coping with his death. </div></div><div class="metaInfo"><photo3>https://www.timesleader.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/web1_maccarone02.jpg</photo3><caption3>Ellen Maccarone holds a photograph of her late brothe, Lenny King, and talks about his suicide and how her family is coping with his death. </caption3><photoCredit3>Pete G. Wilcox | Times Leader </photoCredit3></div></div>
<div class="metaInfo"><bylineMeta><p>By Bill O&#8217;Boyle</p><p>boboyle@www.timesleader.com</p></bylineMeta></div><div class="metaInfo"><shirttailMeta><p>Reach Bill O&#8217;Boyle at 570-991-6118 or on Twitter @TLBillOBoyle.</p></shirttailMeta></div>

Learning to cope and help others when a loved one takes their own life