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Capitol Roundup: PA Department of Human Services awards landmark Medicaid agreements

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Luzerne County Councilman questions use of sheriff’s deputies at Trump rally

<p>I won&#8217;t ever have the honor of walking my daughter down the aisle on her wedding day.</p><p>That was a tough first sentence to write, trust me on that.</p><p>Not having children is the one failure in my life I will carry to my grave.</p><p>Because I had two great parents, I think I would have been a good father. I would have always been there for my son or daughter and I would have enjoyed every step of the way as they grew from infants to toddlers to baseball players to ballerinas to scholars to spouses to parents themselves.</p><p>I would be as proud as I possibly could be.</p><p>I have been the proud papa of a 17 1/2 year-old cat named Lily and I was the adopted father of a wonderful little dog named Becky. They both count very much in my life, having given me memories and good times.</p><p>But neither Lily nor Becky would, nor could, provide me with the joy of a daughter or son.</p><p>That said, in two weeks I will attend a wedding in New Jersey of Maria, a young lady whom I consider to be my non-biological, non-blood-related, as close as possible &#8212; daughter. She has asked me to read at her wedding Mass and to offer a pre-meal blessing at her reception.</p><p>I feel more than honored and will do my very best to contribute to her day.</p><p>But it will not be easy. As happy as I am for her embarking on her new life, I am again reminded of my fatherless failure. I so wish this was my daughter walking down the aisle. I have wished that for decades.</p><p>I&#8217;m reminded of a day in July, 2014, when I was walking to my car after work and found a graduation photo of a girl named Kennedy stuck to my driver&#8217;s side window. I didn&#8217;t know the girl in the photo, so I dismissed it and tossed it on my passenger&#8217;s seat and drove home.</p><p>That&#8217;s when the &#8220;what-ifs&#8221; hit me. What if &#8220;Kennedy&#8221; was my long lost daughter or granddaughter? What if she was reaching out to me? What if she wanted to meet me? What if, what if, what if?</p><p>What if she&#8217;s getting married and wants me to walk her down the aisle?</p><p>The experience had me shaking. My thoughts and hopes were borne more out of this always-with-me desire to have a child, all the while knowing that, as the Zombies sang in the 60s &#8212; &#8220;She&#8217;s Not There.&#8221;</p><p>It was a glimmer of hope, quickly doused, but it was fun to suddenly think about things &#8212; birthdays, graduations, proms, ballgames, weddings &#8212; that never occurred with my non-existent daughter.</p><p>I thought about the perpetuation of family after I&#8217;m gone.</p><p>I&#8217;ve been around children most of my life. I have coached and I have volunteered with many organizations that help kids and young adults. Those experiences have been great, providing me with priceless memories I will have even into the next life.</p><p>As wonderful as all those memories are, they don&#8217;t fill the void of not having my own child. But I&#8217;ve learned to live with it and to accept it.</p><p>That&#8217;s why I can&#8217;t wait for Maria&#8217;s wedding in two weeks. I will be as proud as any biological father could be and will cherish this special time forever.</p><p>I&#8217;m sure, as Maria walks down the aisle, I&#8217;ll close my eyes and imagine my non-existent daughter&#8217;s wedding. I&#8217;ll see her in her flowing gown and watch as I give her to her husband.</p><p>I will see myself crying as she exchanges her vows and says, &#8220;I do.&#8221;</p><p>Like Kennedy did two years ago, Maria now gives me memories of things I never learned &#8212; of things I never had or knew.</p><p>Too often, we don&#8217;t value what we have &#8212; we don&#8217;t realize or appreciate all that life brings us.</p><p>I even manage to value memories I didn&#8217;t make and I treasure the experiences I could have had.</p><p>Sometimes, we need to be reminded of all that is good.</p><p>A graduation photo stuck on my car did that for me once.</p><p>This time, it&#8217;s a wedding in New Jersey.</p><style>
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<div class="neCaption">Bill O&#8217;Boyle </div></div><div class="metaInfo"><photo0>https://www.timesleader.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/web1_Oboyle_Bill-2-1-6.jpg</photo0><caption0>Bill O&#8217;Boyle </caption0><photoCredit0></photoCredit0></div></div>
<div class="metaInfo"><bylineMeta><p>By Bill O&#8217;Boyle</p><p>boboyle@www.timesleader.com</p></bylineMeta></div><div class="metaInfo"><shirttailMeta><p>Reach Bill O&#8217;Boyle at 570-991-6118 or on Twitter @TLBillOBoyle</p></shirttailMeta></div>

Beyond the Byline: Memories of experiences I never had