Wyoming Man Gets 70 Months For Bank Robbery

Act 1 Appeals Ruling That Prevents Group Home 
Appeal Calls Interpretation Of City's Zoning Laws Invalid

Thursday, December 22, 1994 &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Page: 12A 





When happiness means shopping on Xmas Eve &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 If you've already done your Christmas shopping, do not, repeat, do not read
this editorial. Instead go get a jump on next year's shopping, or draw up your
new Life Goals for 1995, or do whatever it is that disgustingly organized
people doBecause this editorial is written for those whose Christmas shopping
hasn't even begun. Clear? Are we alone now, procrastinators? Are our
disciplined friends' noses back in their Daily Planners where they belong? &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Then let's rock n ' roll. Stallers, on your marks! Let the shopping begin
-- and here's a few tips for last-minute Larrys and Lucys everywhere. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 1. Relax. Keep relaxing, we should say. There's still three full shopping
days until Christmas -- and as you know, nothing beats the thrill of finding
just the right sweater in just the right size on Christmas eve. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 If the store wraps presents to boot, then treat yourself to a little extra
dawdling at the computer-games shop. You deserve it, you resourceful devil,
you. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 2. Don't breathe a word. Don't let the Organized Ones (OOs -- as in,
"Oh-oh, Christmas is almost gone, I'd better start fretting over my Easter
decorations") in on our secret. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 When they approach you with their hair mussed, their eyes glazed and their
Post-It Notes stuck like stray tinsel to their clothing, nod with sympathy at
their tales of holiday stress. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Keep to yourself the closet contentment of the cunctator (look it up today,
or, what the heck, maybe tomorrow): No worries, mate! Why fret about something
whose deadline is a leisurely three days away? That's an eternity in
Procrasto-Time. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Then there is Custer's Corollary to the above, named after the famous
Little Big Horn leader who should have waited just a tad longer before riding
into that valley: "He who hesitates is first -- well, sometimes." &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Take that sweater you found (you rogue!). The exact same sweater given by
an OO would be just that: a sweater. Or even less. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 "Hmph," the receiver likely would think. "So-and-so spends months planning
and shopping, and all they could come up with was a lousy sweater?" &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 But a sweater from a slacker is an event. "How do you do it?" the lucky
wearer will marvel. "Always the last minute, and always just the right gift!" &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 That's your cue to blush modestly. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 As a mathematician once put it, happiness is a person's expectations
divided by their achievements. And as procrastinators know, you'll get the
same result by lowering the numerator as by increasing the denominator. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 3. Banish guilt. Sure, you'll feel a mite sheepish when you notice that
among your unanswered stack of Christmas cards are a number of last year's
cards. Just keep repeating the malingerer's mantra -- those words that got
Gen. George McClellan, said by Lincoln to have had "the Slows," through his
unceremonious firing; those words that brought a rueful smile to Robert
Scott's lips, when the Antarctic explorer reached the South Pole and found
fluttering there Amundsen's Norwegian flag.... &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Those immortal words, "Oh, well!" &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 4. Be creative. It's late Saturday night. You didn't find the sweater. And
you just learned to your horror that the mall closes early on Christmas eve. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 This is known in the trade as "that sinking feeling." &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 What to do? &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Don't panic. You're bigger than that, tiger! You're a procrastinator! You
live for these moments -- when all is lost, the hour is nigh and your project
is only half done! &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 You say you produce better under pressure. Well, the pressure's on now,
Santa. Run with it! &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Don't do your Christmas shopping at your local Turkey Hill. Only a few
things will shatter your rep as a world-class, but always reliable, deadline
artist. One of them is giving your blushing bride a case of Castrol 10W-40
motor oil for Christmas. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Do ... vow to put in a late night. You've been down that road before,
right, babe? &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Get some paste, scissors, construction paper, and any other artsy materials
you can scrounge up. Sit down and write your beloved a poem. Really pour it
on. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Then dress it up as a homemade card, covered with frills and lace. Make it
a keepsake, an heirloom, a personalized work of art suitable for framing. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Your spouse will love it. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 In fact, he or she may declare that it's one of the best Christmas gifts
ever. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 For that's another secret of the procrastinator's trade, you'll think, as
your loved one showers you with kisses. Like squeezing coal and getting a
diamond, pressure reduces things to their essence. Press the commercialism of
Christmas gift-giving hard enough, and you'll find the diamond of love. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Put that on your Post-It and post it. When you get around to it, that is. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;

When Happiness Means Shopping On Xmas Eve 
If You've Already Done Your Christmas Shopping, Do Not, Repeat, Do Not Read 
This Editorial. Instead Go Get A Jump On Next Year's Shopping, Or Draw Up Your 
New Life Goals For 1995, Or Do Whatever It Is That Disgustingly Organized 
People Do.

When Happiness Means Shopping On Xmas Eve If You've Already Done Your Christmas Shopping, Do Not, Repeat, Do Not Read This Editorial. Instead Go Get A Jump On Next Year's Shopping, Or Draw Up Your New Life Goals For 1995, Or Do Whatever It Is That Disgustingly Organized People Do.