Wilkes-barre Rec Dept Holds Tennis Camp

Aldo Russo 
Aug. 9, 1996 
Aldo Russo, 88, Of New Hancock Street, Wilkes-barre, And Formerly Of Scott 
Street, Parsons, Wilkes-barre, Died Friday At Home.

Sunday, August 11, 1996 &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Page: 1 





With Iseman on vacation, who knows what can happen! &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Dave Iseman recently disappeared in the swirling vortex that he calls a
family for a vacation, &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; foolishly leaving the Hazleton bureau in the hands of his overworked,
underfed minionsAfter a brief power struggle with other writers in the bureau
and after numerous paper cuts from the weapon of choice, those big glossy
coupons, I managed to commandeer Dave's usual column space. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 But now that I'm here, I'm not sure what to do. For inspiration and
understanding, I combed past works of other local Sunday columnists, from both
our paper and the competition. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 You can tell from my photo that this is the only type of combing I can do
anymore. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Through my studies I observed several variations on how a columnist can
approach his work. I then took a crack at each style. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 I mean no insult. I'm just a substitute. And we all know how long you have
to be a substitute in the Hazleton Area before you get a full-time position. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 I've given each style a name, in honor of the columnist who inspired it. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Jeff Cocky, political pundit: Oh you may think what's going on in local
government today is new stuff, but I've seen it all before, eight years ago.
In fact, I predicted it would happen. Then when it did happen, I was the first
to break the story. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Of course, if you had asked back then, I could have told you I'd be telling
you this. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Steve Corkit, public provocateur: I'm a scamutzhead, you're a scamutzhead,
he's a scamutzhead, she's a scamutzhead, wouldn't you like to be a scamutzhead
too . . . &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Hey, I mean no offense, truly. Some of my best friends are scamutzheads.
It's not an ethnic slur. Anyone can be a scamutzhead, even a columnist . . . &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Ray Swell, Methuselah-like maven: Nothing controversial happened this
week, and if it did, we don't want to add to the controversy by reporting it. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 I will, however, recount the exciting story of a local man who starred on a
high school championship basketball team, went into the military, traveled to
Yubi, Africa, and capped it all by meeting Ike Eisenhower's dog. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Dave Jibeman, roving writer: It's time for another pop quiz. What's the
real reason I get to write a weekly column and Mark Guydish doesn't? &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 A) I can write about kids a lot because I have them and Guydish doesn't B)
Guydish looks crazier than me in our photos because I have hair and he doesn't
C) I have 10 journalism awards hanging by my desk and Guydish has,
appropriately, a picture of a train wreck D) I might be willing to climb into
a trash container for a story like the one about the perfectly good rug that
the City of Hazleton threw away, but Guydish is dumb enough to follow me. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Jim CAN-DOodly Dino, biz whiz: Repeat my favorite mantra and commerce in
your community will prosper: CAN DO can do good. CAN DO can do good. CAN DO
can do good. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 And for all those would-be developers out there trying to make Hazleton
prosper, I have one piece of advice: Do that voodoo that CAN DO do so well. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Tom Wordwiggler, lexicon lover: I have discerned and discovered that it is
nearly impossible for me to write more than one paragraph or often even a
sentence without using a variety of words to convey a single message, meaning,
or intent. I apparently am at odds with myself as I seek the perfect and
proper mix of words, phrases, clauses and sentences, not to mention
paragraphs, to make my point. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Meanwhile, however, I reject outright the possibility of studying and
adopting a different form of writing, and instead plan to sit down with myself
and engage in some very earnest negotiations on how to improve my missives.
There is hope that after rest and reflection, reason and goodwill will
prevail. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Allison Walzer, The Times Leader's top editor: Hi. I'm the brilliant
senior vice president and editor of The Times Leader. I'm a tough but fair
boss of all the writers at the paper. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 I write columns that strike the perfect balance between whimsy and
hard-edged social commentary. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 The only thing hipper than my writing is my hair. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 (Hey, c'mon, I might be stupid enough to climb into garbage but you didn't
expect me to criticize the big Kahuna, didja?) &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Mark Guydish &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;

With Iseman On Vacation, Who Knows What Can Happen! 
Dave Iseman Recently 
Disappeared In The Swirling Vortex That He Calls A Family For A Vacation, 
Foolishly Leaving The Hazleton Bureau In The Hands Of His Overworked, Underfed 
Minions.

With Iseman On Vacation, Who Knows What Can Happen! Dave Iseman Recently Disappeared In The Swirling Vortex That He Calls A Family For A Vacation, Foolishly Leaving The Hazleton Bureau In The Hands Of His Overworked, Underfed Minions.