`holiday Heroes' Come Through For The Needy 
Workers At Hospitals, Soup Kitchens, Shelters And Help Lines Give The Gift Of 
Caring On Christmas Day

250 Lose Jobs As Resort Closes 
Mountain Laurel, In White Haven, 
Was Unable To Reach A Mortgage 
Repayment Schedule With Mellon Bank, 
A Spokesman For The Operator Says

By TERRIE MORGAN-BESECKER; Times Leader Staff Writer
 Thursday, December 25, 1997 &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Page: 1A 





Her name was Lisa, and Frank and Evelyn Ralston want others to know it's
all right to mention her at Christmas. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 It's OK to say her name on her birthday, too, and each Dec. 8th, the
anniversary of the 17-year-old high school junior's death. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Lisa was their daughter, and they want others to share their memories. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Friends and family often shy away from bereaved parents like the Ralstons
during the holidays, which makes it more difficult to cope, they said. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 "All of us have guilt that our child is not there," said Evelyn Ralston.
"But it's really important for people not to forget our child was a part of
our lives." &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Jeanne and Raymond Deiter know that feeling. So do Stanley and Ruth
Chickson, Shirley Sorber, Lisa Tapia and Michael Bogdon. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 All are members of the Wyoming Valley chapter of Compassionate Friends, a
non-profit support group for parents, siblings and other family members
dealing with a child's death. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 They recently spoke about the emotional turmoil faced each holiday season
as they cope with their grief in the midst of the joy friends and neighbors
experience. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 It's grief that family and friends often compound- unknowingly- with what
they say or do, members of the group said. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 And then there are the things they don't say. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 "If you go to another person's house, you never hear your child's name,"
said Frank Ralston. "Death itself scares a lot of people and they don't want
it to intrude on their joyous holiday." &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 It's been 10 years since Lisa Ralston was killed in a car accident on her
way to school. The Ralston home had been without a Christmas tree until 1995,
when the couple adopted a son, Lee Franklin. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Two-year-old Lee is helping them regain the Christmas spirit, but it
remains a struggle, they said. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 "When you first lose your child, you feel you can never celebrate the
holiday again. You're able to be part of the holiday, but I don't think you'll
ever celebrate it," Evelyn Ralston said. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Shopping for Christmas presents- once a joyous occasion- can be an
emotionally draining chore, the families said. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Jeanne Deiter of Plains Township still finds herself shopping for her
19-year-old son, Raymond, who died in an accidental fall from a bridge on New
Year's Day five years ago. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 "There's always something you see," she said, recalling how she once found
herself repeatedly touching a golf shirt in a department store. Her son was a
big golf fan, she said. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Each of the families has its own way of remembering their deceased child. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Shirley Sorber of Wilkes-Barre still hangs a Christmas stocking for her
15-year-old son, Craig, who was killed in a car accident eight years ago. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Each year, Sorber writes a letter to Craig, telling him about her life that
year. She stuffs it inside his stocking along with previous letters, then sits
down and re-reads them. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 It's a painful tradition, she admitted, but it also allows her to see how
far she's come in dealing with her grief. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 "The first letter was so depressing," she said. "He was my whole life. If
it were possible for someone to die of a broken heart, I would have died." &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Today she's made strides in recapturing the Christmas spirit. She takes joy
in giving a joke gift each year to an unsuspecting family member- like the
beautifully wrapped lump of coal she once gave her father. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 The Chickson's remember their daughter, Kristen, with a special ornament
they place on their tree in their Larksville home. Kristen died five years ago
at age 25 while undergoing a medical procedure. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 "Kristen just loved Christmas. She loved giving gifts more than getting
them," Ruth Chickson said. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Linda Tapia of Exeter lost her 10-month-old son, Jeffrey, 16 years ago to
congenital heart failure. His death doesn't mean he isn't still part of her
family, she said, and she and her other children keep his memory alive by
signing his name to their Christmas cards. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Michael Bogdon still hears the music his son, Michael Bogdon III, created.
The 21-year-old Wilkes University student was killed six years ago in a car
accident caused by a drunken driver. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Like other parents, Bogdon, of Plymouth, said the best Christmas present he
can receive is a simple phone call from someone who knew Michael. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 "Tell me something I didn't know about him," Bogdon said. "It proves to me
people still think about him." &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 There are other simple things people can do to honor the deceased child of
a friend or family member, Frank and Evelyn Ralston said. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Buy a book for a library in their child's name; plant a tree; donate a toy
to Toys for Tots. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 "That's the biggest fear we all have, that people are going to forget our
child," Frank Ralston said. "What we want to remember more than anything else
is the good times." &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 "We want you to say our child's name," Evelyn added, "And just hug us." &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 For more information about Compassionate Friends or to speak to someone
about the death of a child contact Frank or Evelyn Ralston at 288-9752. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 TIMES LEADER/BOB ESPOSITO &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Frank and Evelyn Ralston of Larksville are recapturing the joy of Christmas
helped by their 2-year-old adopted son, Lee Franklin. The couple refused to
put up a tree for eight years following the 1987 car accident death of their
17-year-old daughter, Lisa. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;

For Bereaved, Silence Hurts During Holidays 
Family Members Who 
Have Lost A Loved One Say 
Holidays Are Easier When 
Visiting Friends Feel Free To 
Discuss The Loss

For Bereaved, Silence Hurts During Holidays Family Members Who Have Lost A Loved One Say Holidays Are Easier When Visiting Friends Feel Free To Discuss The Loss