Year In Business Was Full Of Promise

Abduction Attempt Reported

By The TL Sports Staff
 Saturday, December 27, 1997 &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Page: 





A number of readers were in a giving mood this holiday season. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 They handed out numerous imaginary gifts in their responses to this week's
Fan Fare question, which was: If you had a chance to hand out a Christmas
present to anybody in the sports world, who would you give it to and what
would it be. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; Here's what the callers wanted to hand out. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 I would give a present to Mike Tyson and it would be a giant chocolate ear
that he could eat all he wanted. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 I'd hand out a present to Paul Marranca of Wyoming Area and to his players
for a wonderful season that they gave fans and followers, and for the good
sportsmanship they showed through the games. For the discipline he had on his
team, for them never complaining, never grumbling, always doing their best and
for playing a game like they had to play in Berwick, the mud, the scoreboard
not working, the adverse conditions, and to come away with smiling faces,
dirty but never giving up. I would give the gift just to thank them for a
wonderful season and the coaching job he did. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Editor's note: So what's the present? &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 I would give a pass-play book to Ted Jackson so he could throw to other
members of the team and not use his son as the only running back. I would give
him the book so he could use more than one team member and make them play
collectively as a team and not like the Ted Jackson-Matt Jackson show that it
was this year in their worst performance. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 I'm not a Lions fan but if I had a chance to hand out a Christmas present
to anyone in the sports world it would definitely be Barry Sanders of the
Detroit Lions. I would hand him a Super Bowl ring. The man definitely deserves
a Super Bowl ring, he has been on teams that just haven't progressed to the
Super Bowl. He is just a one-man show on that team. It just seems that
whenever they need a win he is involved and he always seems to get the yards
that they need to win the game. I consider him the Michael Jordan of football,
he is just a one-man game. People know that he is going to be the leader of
that team, but yet they can't stop him every time he has the ball. He deserves
a Super Bowl ring. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 To the sports fans of the Wyoming Valley I would give some semblance of a
radio sports talk show. It is appalling that an area of this size has no such
outlet. One can't take Kevin "I'm a coach not a host" Lynn seriously as a
sports-talking entity as his employers already found out. Instead we are left
with Fred Williams and a revamped, serious Kevin Lynn. Isn't that an oxymoron?
There is no excuse for the lack of sports talk in this area. It's
embarrassing. To those who have an interest in sports, surely nothing will be
done. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 I would like to give Michael Jordan a copy of the book "The Triangle Fire"
by Leon Stein. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Charles Barkley, and I would hand him an NBA trophy because he deserves to
win an NBA championship. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 I'd like to give all the laurels to the Valley West Spartans football team
for their game with the Berwick Bulldogs this year, when they defeated the
Bulldogs 3-0 in overtime. As a Berwick Bulldog fan I thought it was a very
exciting game and I hope we see more like it in the near future. I'd also like
to give Steve Corbett from the Times Leader a lump of coal for being the heel
he is as far as not stating the facts correctly and for using a lot of
innuendoes and half-truths regarding the Berwick football program. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 It would go to all the football broadcasters in the country, both college
and pro, and it would be a scholarship to the Ray Scott school of
broadcasting. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 My Christmas present would be to Jerry Kellar of the Times Leader, and that
would be that I would hope Joe Paterno would let him keep cutting his grass in
the summertime. Maybe, if Jerry's a good boy he can shine Joe's shoes before
the game. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 I wouldn't give a one of them a damn thing. They make so much money now
that you can't afford to go to see a game, you can't afford to talk to them,
they want $25 to sign stuff, forget it. Sports is out of control in this
country. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 First of all, I would give my thanks and gratitude to those sports figures
like the Cal Ripkens, the Scottie Pippens, and the Joe Paternos for all that
they give back to society. The rest of them I would grant a wish that they
could be responsible in their position as sports figures to their fellow
athletes and to society, to be model heroes and sports figures to the youth of
society and to have the humbleness to act responsibly and be model figures for
all of us, but especially the youth. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 I would have given Curtis Enis that suit myself. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 I would give Curtis Enis and his agent a sense of right and wrong. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 I'd give it to the greatest of all time Muhammad Ali, and I'd give him the
gift of getting rid of his Parkinson's disease so he could talk like he used
to and not shake like a leaf when his hands are trembling. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 It is a shame what happened to the greatest fighter that ever lived, so if
I could wish anything to anybody in sports it would be that they find a cure
so he wouldn't have to mumble and have his arms quivering when he's trying to
speak. He's just not like he used to be. It would be nice if he could get back
to his old self again. I know it's not going to happen, but that is what I
wish would happen. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 I would give Jerry Kellar a one-way ticket to the Animal Rights Paradise of
India, where he could revel in all the sacred creatures over there. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 I would give Tom Osborne, the Nebraska football coach, a big thank you from
an avid Big Red fan and another national championship. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 I would give (Dallas Cowboys football coach) Barry Switzer a new rifle for
his gun collection. I'd also give him a new job, because he's about to get
fired. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 FAN FARE &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;

Among Fans' Wishes: A Chocolate Ear For Tyson, A New Job For Switzer