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Tuesday, January 20, 1998 &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp;Page: 9A 





Young, male couch potatoes are football's money-back guarantee &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 All right, guys, keep this in mind Sunday when the game turns into a
blowout, &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; and you're about to slip into a food coma, lulled by an afternoon of pizza, &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 wings, beer and bad football: &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 They're counting on usThat's right, they want us. The couch potatoes. The
weekend warriors who squeeze into Steelers jerseys and dingy sweats for Sunday
morning football games. The guys who sneak out for Monday-night wing specials
and half-time buffets at corner taverns. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 We're the $17.6 billion prize. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 That's what the TV networks decided to cough up over the next eight years
just to bring pro football games into our homes. The least we could do is act
like we appreciate it and stay awake through the Super Bowl and its $1.3
million commercials. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 In case you missed it, the mega-deal announced last week with ABC, CBS, Fox
and ESPN amounts to $2.2 billion a year for the NFL, or roughly $75 million
per team and $1.6 million per player. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 ABC will pay $550 million a year to show Monday Night Football. That's
about $10 million for each hour of witty commentary. ("Wow, that Goodyear
blimp looks bigger and bigger every week! What a glorious shot of the
stadium!") &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 CBS will pay $4 billion to televise AFC games and Fox will drop $4.4
billion to show the NFC. For $4.8 billion, ESPN will broadcast Sunday night
games, stretching the day to 12 hours for fans. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Obviously, this is great news for the players. Quarterbacks will soon be
making the same as overpaid major league shortstops who bat .220 or
19-year-old forwards who haven't learned how to hit a jump shot or play
defense. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 The owners? Well, they'll have to wait a bit longer before they bellyache
about the harsh economic realities of running professional sports teams. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Together, the Eagles and Steelers will pull in $1.2 billion over the
contract. And that cash will come on top of the money they get for tickets,
jackets, jerseys and anything else with an NFL logo sewn on it. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 So taxpayers can rest easy for a few years before they're held hostage for
new stadiums decked with fancy sky boxes. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Television execs will be glowing for a long time, too. At CBS, where they
lost the NFL to Fox four years ago, a producer said the deal was "like
restoring a piece of the CBS logo." The folks at the other networks were
equally giddy. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Why all the fuss for a sport whose television ratings hit an all-time low
this season? &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Because a bunch of suits in New York- demographics experts and media types,
I suppose- have decided football fans, mainly young males, are a "desirable"
group for advertisers. The problem is that they think we're about as easy to
grab as a wet football on a muddy field. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 About the only place to catch us is during football games. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 We're what they call a "guaranteed audience." If it's a crisp autumn
afternoon, perfect for a day at the park, we're guaranteed to be in front of
the tube. If there are broken pipes, leaky gutters or overgrown yards that
need our attention, we're guaranteed to be with the Eagles and Cowboys. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 The folks on Madison Avenue have lots of pie charts, surveys and focus
group data telling them this. They also think we're the ones who spend all the
money. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 I'm not sure that part about spending the money is entirely accurate. They
might need to conduct a little more high-tech research. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 Sure, I'm a young male. And I watch plenty of football, so advertisers do
know how to find me. But I'm not sure why they want to. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 I'm not the one who makes the "spending decisions," as they call it on
Madison Avenue. &nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; 
 That job falls to my wife. And a lot of her spending decisions are made on
weekend afternoons, while the kids and I are watching football. That's the way
it works at my friends' houses, too.

Young, Male Couch Potatoes Are Football's Money-back Guarantee 
All Right, Guys, Keep This In Mind Sunday When The Game Turns Into A Blowout, 
And You're About To Slip Into A Food Coma, Lulled By An Afternoon Of Pizza, 
Wings, Beer And Bad Football: 
They're Counting On Us.

Young, Male Couch Potatoes Are Football's Money-back Guarantee All Right, Guys, Keep This In Mind Sunday When The Game Turns Into A Blowout, And You're About To Slip Into A Food Coma, Lulled By An Afternoon Of Pizza, Wings, Beer And Bad Football: They're Counting On Us.