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Rain, snow in the forecast for the Wyoming Valley

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D.C. cover up: Portable toilet company’s name taped over for inauguration

<p>I discovered recently that there are a number of ways to have your coffee.</p><p>There is, of course, black (no sugar, no milk); light and sweet (lots of sugar and milk); or some combination that excludes one or the other or substitutes sugar with an artificial sweetener or substitutes milk with cream.</p><p>But did you know that you can add bacon fat to your coffee?</p><p>Yes, yes you can.</p><p>But I sincerely do not recommend it.</p><p>Here is what happened:</p><p>My wife buys local jars of honey and uses a teaspoon every morning with her tea (and has convinced me of the virtues of using it in my coffee instead of sugar).</p><p>The jars are pretty large and when they are empty can be useful for assorted purposes, including collecting cooking fat so we don&#8217;t pour it down the drain and clog up the works.</p><p>I get in from work pretty late, often around 2:30 a.m., so when I stagger out of bed in the morning, I am looking for coffee &#8212; stat!</p><p>On this particular morning, there were two honey jars, one filled three-quarters with yummy nature&#8217;s goodness &#8212; honey &#8212; and the other coated at the bottom with congealed bacon fat.</p><p>So there is a 50-50 chance of picking the correct jar.</p><p>Not only did I pick the wrong one, but I actually had to work at it reaching deep into the jar to scrape out what I thought was honey.</p><p>Now, you may smartly ask: Given that there were two jars, and one appeared to be nearly empty, what made you think it was filled with honey?</p><p>That is a legitimate question.</p><p>The answer is: I am an idiot.</p><p>Now that we have gotten that out of the way, let me continue my story: I take a heaping spoon of gunk, put the spoon into my coffee and stir it.</p><p>At the breakfast table, without giving the mug a second look, I proceed to sip the coffee.</p><p>Are you familiar with the term &#8220;spit take?&#8221;</p><p>It is a comic move in which a character is drinking something and hears some news that is so shocking that they dramatically spray a mouthful of what they are drinking in a gesture of surprise.</p><p>Well, my reaction was akin to that but involved much more swearing.</p><p>When I looked at the amoeba-shaped sheen floating on the surface of the coffee, I knew in an instant what had happened.</p><p>Since this revolting experience, I have learned that other popular additives used around the world are butter, salt and cinnamon.</p><p>I haven&#8217;t tried those yet but it&#8217;s hard to imagine anything more disgusting than bacon fat.</p><p>Oh wait. Yes there is.</p><p>This happened 30 years ago. My future first wife and my future father-in-law (a big imposing figure of a man) and I were out at an Italian restaurant discussing the upcoming wedding plans.</p><p>Dessert and coffee were served and I was so nervous about my future father-in-law, I was not paying attention to what I was adding to my coffee.</p><p>I thought it was sugar.</p><p>It was in the same metal container that I thought contained sugar.</p><p>It turned out it was Parmesan cheese.</p><p>You know, drinking just black coffee has become more and more appealing.</p><style>
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<div class="metaInfo"><bylineMeta><p>By Christopher Mele</p><p>Mele&#8217;s Musings</p></bylineMeta></div><div class="metaInfo"><shirttailMeta><p>Christopher Mele is married and dad of two sons and two stepchildren. His childhood in the Bronx defined his friendships, which endure today. A career newsman, writer and editor, the Lords Valley resident is glad to share stories and insights about the challenges that the modern-day middle-aged guy faces. Reach Chris at seaosprey22@gmail.com.</p></shirttailMeta></div>

Mele’s Musings: What do you put in your morning coffee?